Something of that Ilk Archive

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Pro Tips

PRO TIPS FOR SURVIVING THANKSGIVING: 1. DON'T USE CHOPSTICKS. IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A DOUCHE. 2. ALWAYS EAT WITH A NURSE PRACTITIONER SO YOU CAN SURVIVE THE FOOD COMA. 3. VEGETARIANS TASTE JUST AS GOOD AS TURKEY. 4. EVERYTHING ON YOUR PLATE CAN BE COMBINED. 5. A BLENDER IS TAKING THAT TOO FAR.

The only day of the year when nobody's going to be mad at you for being fat.

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